What’s Up, Chuck?

Hi Everybody! It’s your old buddy Chuck here to kick it to ya one time. This time we are talking about, well, I actually haven’t figured that out yet so who knows what’s coming!
 Let’s find out…

Lets! Get! Lazy!

So yeah, we live in the drive-through age, but is rolling around grabbing burgers, beer
 and the like all while never leaving the comfort of our cars really what we want for 
the future? Is our whole purpose in evolution to become as lazy as possible? You 
bet! And to help us along the way the folks at “Splick-it” have come up with a formula
 for ordering coffee the old fashioned way, by text message. Yes, filed under the heading “my lord this is dumb” comes Splick-It, the mobile phone ordering platform you can use to get your coffee and scone “in style” and in a moments notice. Simply text “I am super lazy” 
to any number and walk up to the counter and demand your Snickers latte! Okay, so that is not how it works exactly but the point is that we should keep things friendly and
 personal and order over the counter like people have been doing for millions of years. I wonder if anyone at Splick-it realized that if everyone orders by text there 
is still going to be a line! Problem. Not. Solved. Thanks for nothing, Splick-it. Well I shouldn’t say “nothing,” it actually costs $.25 every time you use it. Nice.

News Tinies

• India is getting sauced – coffee shops are becoming quite popular in India these days, and in response, the trendiest coffee shop chain in the country is stepping it
 up and boozing it up. Yep, they are in the process of adding alcoholic coffee beverages to their menu. They’re starting with only coffee liqueurs but I am sure it will 
be no time before they are knocking back whiskey shots and partying on the espresso machine like a Baliwood version of “Coyote Ugly” that takes place in a Starbucks.

• Working at night? Don’t drink coffee! – in an announcement that seems to defy logic itself, the journal Sleep Medicine has published a report that “the main byproduct 
of coffee, caffeine, interferes with sleep and this side-effect worsens as people age” concluding that “night-shift workers should avoid drinking coffee if they wish to im
prove their sleep.” You mean I gotta work all night and can’t have coffee to help keep me up? Ummmm, what country do you think this is? Scientists, you crazy.

• Need customers? Hire a gypsy! – A popular Israeli coffee chain is now offering a free fortune told to anyone who buys a coffee that leaves grounds on the bottom of the
 cup. They have hired a gypsy to train the staff on how to read the grounds and tell a fortune, eventually hoping that this fortune-telling gimmick will lead to bigger
 revenues. Well, I’m sorry Israel but even though hiring a gypsy is the answer to many of life’s problems, this is not one of them.


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